I had high hopes for that day.
The weather was supposed to be gorgeous, I was really looking forward to church &
the NFL season was beginning.
After church I got a message that my Mema was coming to town.
I couldn't wait to see her!
I headed outside to round the boys up (my nephew was with us) because Josh was mowing and I knew they needed to come in before I left.
We were standing in the driveway.
Josh was in the middle of the front yard.
At least 20 feet from us.
I heard a loud smack.
Turned to Logan and saw red.
Blood curdling screams & Gushing red from Logan's head.
Dear Lord!!
What The!!??
My heart is pounding.
Josh stops mowing.
We run into the garage, I grab towels and apply pressure.
I devise a plan.
It's called the "
Gotta Keep Myself Composed & Strong For Him" Plan.
I have to draw strength from somewhere.
Just then the In-Laws arrive (they'd planned on coming by after church).
We've gotta get to the ER!
The blood is literally squirting from his head and
the wound looks like a mini cave carved right out of his little skin.
Deep enough that it might have hit the skull!
Josh jumps in the back with Logan and I ride up front with Steve.
I'm trying (unsuccessfully) to keep my plan intact.
I have to hold it together for him.
It's not working!
Steve is driving the fastest I've ever seen that man go!
Like 50 MPH!!
Remaining completely calm the whole time.
I hear Logan say from the backseat,
"I'm really tired! Can I just go to sleep?"
NOOOO!!! GOD NO!!
I'm Losing him! This is it.
"Buddy, You have to stay awake. Sleep is not an option. Please GOD keep him awake!"
The minute I step foot in the ER I loose it.
Sobbing uncontrollably. I can't even get out our last name to the receptionist.
She looks shell-shocked.
Logan is turning very pale. He says he can't see and needs to go to the bathroom.
Josh carries him there while I'm attempting to fill out papers with a completely unsteady hand.
A man rounds the corner.
"There's a kid throwing up everywhere! We need help quick!"
I'm thinking, "Great! Some kid in the ER is super sick and Logan might catch that now!"
NOPE!
It's Logan!
They get us in a room.
Josh asks Logan if his ok.
He turns and sees the floods of water pouring from my eyes.
"I'm ok. Is my mom ok?"
I think, "Dear Lord! He knows he's ok because he's going to heaven!
He wants to make sure I'll be ok!! How can I be losing my little buddy this soon!?"
Routine cleaning and sterilizing begin. The doctors look nervous.
He's so pale and the wound is so big!
We wheel down to do the CAT scan.
I'm standing in the room with the nurses watching the X-rays of his brain on the screen.
Looking for any sign that something is wrong.
"I can't watch," I think. If I watch and see
something that is really
nothing it will not help with the whole "
Gotta Keep Myself Composed & Strong For Him" Plan.
I turn away. Test is done and we will have results in 10 minutes.
Longest.10.Minutes.Of.My.Life!
If I had a knife I would've cut that tension to shreds.
But, Logan's talking. He's remembering things like what happened yesterday and what our plans for the week are. Color is coming back.
The Dr. strides in. He has an air of confidence about him.
This has to be a good sign.
"You're CAT scan results came back normal! Everything looks completely fine!"
The life that had been sucked out of me for what felt like forever finally returned.
My head stopped swimming with what if questions.He would be ok. He would be ours to keep and raise and cuddle for many many more years.
Then the Dr. turns to us and says, "I'm going to speak to you in grown up terms now so he doesn't understand."
I'M thinking, " Well, if he can't understand them then I probably can't either!
How old does he think Logan is?"
I prepare to follow along with some very scientific words and he says,
"He got very lucky. If the laceration had been a little farther left, on the temple,we might have had a very different outcome."
WOW! Very difficult to understand there buddy!
Now that we know there's no skull fracture or brain bleeding we wait.
For close to 3 hours to complete the stitches.
But, I don't even care.
Cause my buddy is there and he's having conversations with us and joking around and he's
here.
He will have stitches and a head bandage that resembles The Karate Kid for a week.
When we got home he said he was sorry for bleeding all over my dress and that when he threw up in the ER he stretched his neck as far out as he could so he wouldn't throw up all over his dads clothes.
Seriously, the kid is thinking of us when he's got the massive head wound.
I slept in his floor last night.
I knew I'd need to get him to flip back on his back and re-adjust the bandages. He was very nervous and wanted to make sure I'd be waking him up every so often.
It was nice to be there and to be the one taking care of him and soothing his fears.
The bandages have now been replaced and the wound cleaned.
Life will resume tomorrow and I pray I never experience a day like that again.
Having the actual real life fear that you're losing your child is
the most painful thing I've ever experienced.
I can't help but think his Guardian Angel was in full effect that day.
I Thank GOD that the in-laws arrived when they did
that father-in-law had a steady hand and remained calm enough to drive us safely
that mother-in-law was there to watch the other kids
that HE gave him to US for keeps.